upcoming event

Friday, January 30th, 5pm
Plaza of the Americas
Critical Mass Ride to THE KICKSTAND
Gainesville's unique Community Bicycle Shop
To celebrate a one-year anniversary!
Lots of music, fun, and bicycle repairs to follow all weekend.

Welcome to Gainesville Bike Snob

Well, a dear friend of mine said it couldn't be done, but if my awesome neighbors at Mr. Goodbike can make photo art out of an unfortunate cable route design (above), anything can happen. So, here it is: a blog modeled on New York City Bike Snob that isn't as snarky, biting, or critical of the local scene, but that attempts the level of wit and sophistication of NYCBikeSnob. It will likely be more focused on the non-cycling esoterica of life in the 352 Mafia, than is the decidedly gearheaded NYC iteration, but I think we'll give it a shot. By the way, I'm having trouble embedding a link in my images, so forgive the lack of proper web attribution (but they ain't copyrighted).

Granted, I won't be able to poke fun like NYCSnob. Aside from the fact that I'd probably get Pabst beer cans thrown at me constantly as I made my way from my downtown abode to work every morning (a route which, depending on the timing of a certain light at Main and University, takes me precipitously close to our fixed-gear lairs The Atlantic and The Top), there is also the issue of not offending a broad customer base at my local bike shop (Chain Reaction, hoo-yah!, whose web site is down as of this writing), where I am thankful to have an awesome job and serve an even more awesome clientele. Some of these clientele are those brakeless and gearless hipsters (okay, but he's hip to me) which provide us an ever bountiful cornucopia of insights into youthkultur, and who are also the subject of much gentle ire at NYCBikeSnob. Let's just clear the air: even while certain members of "das Scene" frustrate my attempts to be a safety nazi and generally control the behavior of all two-wheeled creatures around me, I have nothing but love for anyone on a bike.

Just be safe, brakeless peoples, and you will find only love from me, whether in my professional, mercurial, or commuting mode. And wherever your ride takes you, but especially if it is covering some of Gainesville's 60 miles of intra-urban off-road trails like these dirty people on the Tour de Gainesville, always look silly-happy.

By the way, and speaking of local scenester hangouts. I just mentioned a really awesome eatery (the Top) and music venue (The Atlantic). BTW, you can avoid all things allegedly negative about the Top by a) accepting that, yes, Virginia, there are lots of really attractive people there who want nothing to do with you--I know, hard to believe!--and b) eating sometime before martini-thirty in the evening, when you'll get a well-deserved p-shaw for trying to split checks or hog a table. I. E., haters, don't put a dog in a boat race. I recommend lunch time if you have difficulty navigating the cultural waters, or if you can't handle snark.

See, I think we can pull this off without offending anyone. Let's save our ire for dangerous automated things that go bump in the bike lane. Let's keep our cynicism about the world at bay with caffeine, cheddar-sharp humor, much gearheadedness, and lots of novel reading.

Look forward to some alpha posts, as the most boring holiday of the year is nigh--New Year's Eve [Oooops, that never happened . . . Gville Bike Snob 27Jan09]. Well, boring for those of us who can't handle the sauce, anyway. Oh Jim Beam, Oh Jack, oh musty Bordeaux, how we miss thee.

I'd love some suggestions for post topics. Anything related to 352 Mafia, bicycle commuting, food, politics, and the like. I'll only honor missives, criticism, and responses of substance, and I am preternaturally disposed to avoiding what my younger colleagues refer to as "haters." AYHSMB!

Clearly, we'll have to become more adept at posting images, as much of NYC Bike Snob's charm derives from his fluency in hypertext/imagery. Any help with Linux Gimp, or with downloading in Google Blogger much appreesh. I favor images with dogs, hot people on bikes, and local celebrities, such as volunteers, activists, community-oriented politicians, decent businesspeople, and non-corporate entrepreneurs. And of course there will be the inevitable fun images, like this one from a Tampa Pedal Pub in one of our lovely coastal cities:














We'll probably do a "352 Mafioso of the Week/Month" eventually. If you want to be that person, do lots of cool stuff for your neighbors, ride your bike everywhere, and quit your bitching about what's wrong with Gainesville and do something to fix it. Because, folks, the word according to Gville Bike Snob is that while G-town may not be paradise, it will certainly do until paradise gets here.

Love and Sprockets